Hoo hoo! It’s me, Blathers! Can you hear me loud and clear, over and out?
[[Woof...->Second]]
[[Heck yeah, my dude!->Second]]Wonderful! I’m here to wish a happy birthday to Jeremy Burrows, is this who I’m speaking to?
[[Never heard of him.]]
[[Yep, that’s me!->Excellent]]Ah! I’m ever so sorry to bother you then. I was only going to wish him the happiest of birthdays and what not. Alas...it is sad that we don’t get to celebrate his birthday together.
[[Oh, I am Jez! I’m just kidding.->Excellent]]
[[I hate birthdays.->Bagworm]]Excellent! Well, first off I would like to exceedingly apologize for all the fishing I’ve made you do recently.
[[Not to worry. I love fishing.->Secondly]]
[[Not to worry. I *love* fishing.->Secondly]]Okay then, to pass the time I’m just going to explain what a bagworm is. What a wretched thing! Alas, I am obliged to ask...Would you like to learn more about this specimen?
[[Please tell me!->Bagworm 2]]
[[...->Bagworm 2]]Ah, I see in that case...ahem...The ''bagworm'' is, in fact, not a worm at all, but a caterpillar instead.
[[Oh no what have I done...->Bagworm 3]]The filthy fraud uses silk and leaves to spin a cozy bag for it to hide inside—hence the name. Some find it cute the way ''bagworms'' dangle from trees. But the truth is they’re gluttonous monsters.
[[Do go on...->Bagworm 4]]
[[You must stop.->Bagworm 4]]These beasts love to stuff their gullets full of leaves, devouring the very trees they hang upon. Wretched villians is what they are.
[[Okay, okay it’s me, Jeremy. Yikes.->Excellent]]
[[Gross!->Bagworm 5]]Anyhoot, I know it’s you Jez. No-one would kindly just sit there and wait for me to ramble about Bagworms all day.
[[I’m sorry for lying to you, Blathers. I feel so awful about it. I feel like I ruined my own birthday.->Excellent]]Hoot hoot and hooray! Also, I know that you’re my biggest fan and what not but Ali and Robin paid me //a lot// of money on Cameo™️ to do this...so they require that you appreciate their friendship.
[[Hoot, indeed.->Thirdly]]
[[(Say nothing and risk two beautiful friendships.)->Thirdly]]I knew you’d be a real sport about it! Hoo hoo! I think in these trying times we should always remember what Tony Hawk once told us: Just. Keep. Skating.
[[I love you so much Blathers, you’re the best.->Birthday]]
[[(//Compliment his argyle sweater//)->Birthday]]Hoo hoo! Happy birthday! Here’s your real present: (link: "a powerpoint presentation!")[(goto-url: 'https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1cysuSH2re9JIJlJHcUeAnznpaCt56OBScAQf7GpvhUQ/present?token=AC4w5Vji1kQlx3o3gMRS51wOq1K_Qx7wTw%3A1588013492942&includes_info_params=1&eisi=CMf3lKGjiekCFdMaqQEdGeAKYQ#slide=id.g73ba9eaf9b_0_5')] Stiff upper beak, eh wot?